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Often when I think about disciplining our kids I get the feeling that is a “touchy” subject.Why? – Because we (the parents) don’t agreed to one single technique or way to discipline our children, also because to many of us parents the word “discipline” sounds like a punishment or something we shouldn’t be doing to our little angels.Of course we want to see them happy all the time and “discipline” to them equals pain, punishment or work, and we can’t tolerate seeing the suffer.But, Are they the only ones who need discipline or is US the parents that first and foremost need to get our thoughts together in the first place?I mean let’s have this clear: You love your kid, so, being that said, one of the ways to show love to them and one of our biggest responsibility with them is making sure that they are growing in a safe environment, and we don’t understand sometimes that being safe means that they need to adjust to a society where rules exist and if we love them so much we will want them to fit in with this rules, now again, the word “Rules” for many of us has a negative meaning, like if we’re punishing them again, we get the idea that if they follow rules all the time they won’t be free and will grow up with so many “traumas”…So once again here it comes the question: Are they the only ones who need discipline or is US the parents who need to get our thoughts together about discipline in the first place? Are we parents understanding the deep meaning of happiness and success? I think many many times, we are not in the same page, we are confused and there for our kids will be confused too, is very important that the adults have this thoughts and basic values clear, an strong and firm idea of what is the type of life we want our children to have and then a set of rules to follow are really key for their safety and happiness in their future.We need to understand and be ok with the fact that discipline is the way to obtain success. Discipline is the only way and yes, is going to demand from them some sort of “pain”, the “pain” to quit maybe eating candy for dinner or the “pain” to have an schedule for video games or electronic, the “pain” to have to stop screaming in certain times and places, so yes, it will demand “pain” from your kid and that is ok because with that amount of necessary sacrifice (or “pain” for them ) we are teaching a lesson, the lesson that anything important in life come with hard work and sacrificeSo for us parents let’s get clear the idea that we adore our kids, we dont want to see them suffer, but if we want to see them truly happy, we have to apply discipline. I prefer to watch them complain about not getting their desires immediately than the idea that they get older and not living a plenty life because they will think they can do whatever they want without putting any hard work or sacrifice.We can have fun and joke with them and we can be silly and go their way too, any extreemes are not good, they can be kids and bee free to express themselves if they are first following the rules they are supposed to and if this is not happening then they will have to suffer consequences.Let’s not forget that is in the process where they will appreciate the value of their effort.”Looking good isn’t just vanity, is loving yourself, and let’s be honest, in today’s society it’s even survival”
If you’re a woman, you know that our physical appearance is one of the most talked about subjects since we hit puberty: Are we too fat? Are we too skinny? Are we fit? Curvy? Square? Whatever it is, family, friends, and society have their noses on our physique, and no matter what we try to do to keep it to us, is impossible to hide it because is all they can see, our look!
Its true people will judge a book by its cover, and there are plenty of articles and groups trying to help people to see more than the physical aspect of women and be treated by our values, hearts, and minds but sincerely I think we can all agreed that no matter how “Good hearted women we are” we are going to still be treated at least at the beginning by how we look on the outside. I tried to make peace with the way the world perceives me and try to understand it not from a materialistic aspect but from a more deep concept.
During almost all my 20’s I was overweighted, even got to be morbidly obese at some point, but I was still the same person on the inside, so why wasn’t I completely happy?
I was always trying to lift myself up by telling me that I am still beautiful ( and I absolutely was) but still didn’t feel happy with myself, I was always trying to tell myself about other aspects that had nothing to do with my physique and it was true they were there and made me feel good about myself, but I was still not feeling like a happy woman on the outside and I was for sure not living the best version of myself, So one day I really tried to lose weight and make the effort that was needed, I finally lost a lot of weight ( about 60-70- lbs), and the difference was not only physical but mental and even spiritual too, my mood changed , my confidence changed, and of course the way people will see me changed too, a new kind of respect was earned among the people that knew me, my family, my friends and even in my marriage… it is a bittersweet experience to go thru as a woman, because again I thought to myself I am still the same person inside, why would people “love me more” now? Why do they respect me more?
I really made a lot of effort when I tried losing weight, and then even more effort when I started attending Self Defense classes or a Boot Camp; not just physical but mental too, I had to make time for the classes, I had to battle a house, kids and family to meet my fitness needs, I had to put hours researching online for nutrition tips, workouts, meet with different trainers to get the most help and guideness to keep my journey and goals and in the middle of all these classes and new recipes and new experiences towards my health I found out that I was a more organized, disciplined and a mature person and for that, and not only for the outside look I got that respect and a different apreciation from society and told myself: I deserve it!
Yes, anybody who works hard and tries their best to take care of their body is not just superficial or hallow people, they are working hard, they are really persevering and making the effort to keep a healthy life, they deserve the credit for it.
WhiIe I was almost 200 lbs sitting on my couch eating ice cream almost every day, people would see me as ” lazy” well guess what? I shouldn’t get offended by that, I shouldn’t say: This society expects too much from me, they are asking me to follow “trends” in honor of all honesty: I was lazy, and while is ok to take breaks and be a little lazy sometimes is not ok to let ourselves go and treat our bodies badly, is simply not ok.
Showing love to our bodies should be one of the priorities for all of us, being active, and eating a balanced diet is respecting ourselves and the body we’ve got.
I understood that women who battle every day trying to maintain their fitness goals high do deserve credit and be praised and put on magazines and be role models in this aspect, it’s a lot of work. So from someone who was overweight and wouldn’t go for a walk in years to someone who tries every week to hit the gym, get into BJJ classes and keep up with 3 kids I think is safe to say that even I think I deserve that credit too, so it’s not about being superficial its actually all the contrary is about being so spiritual that we understand the importance of loving ourselves so much that we go thru a lot of effort and hard work to earn a fit body.
Dear women, when you get told that “You have to look good” don’t take it as an insult, pressure or a “man’s way to abuse us”, take it as a push to help you be the best version of yourself, take it as a challenge and defeat it. Know that if you worked hard to obtain a great body you deserve credit for it. I am not advocating plastic surgery or extreme diets, I get that society goes to extremes with photoshop and unattainable and fake images of perfect women, I am talking about reaching a personal image that is beautiful in its own unique way, if we are going to say: “love yourself the way you are” You should know that your human body is meant to be healthy in the first place.
We should care about the way we look and make it match with the inside, we should carry a body that reflects what a woman means: a strong, beautiful and fierce creature that has no limitations in this world.